How does a chef catch a baseball?
With an oven mitt.
***
Why is baseball the richest sport?
It’s the only one played on a diamond.
***
How do you get water at a baseball game?
Ask for a pitcher.
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Why was the insect such a bad baseball player?
It kept hitting fly-balls.
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What sport makes a lot of noise at night?
Cricket.
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What sports do nearsighted people play?
Contact sports.
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Why was the tennis player told to quiet down?
He was making a racket.
***
What kind of raft melts in water?
An ice cream float.
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How do you decorate a rowboat for Christmas?
You hang oar-naments on it.
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What type of shirt should rowers on a boat wear?
Crew neck.
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What boats talk too much?
Kay-yaks.
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Why do people enjoy fishing so much?
It’s a sport you can really get hooked on.
***
What did the scuba diver say when he was given more air?
“Tanks!”
***
Why are roller blades good to use?
Because they keep you in-line.
***
What’s the best season for sky-diving?
Fall.
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What sport do trains sign up for at school?
Track and field.
***
What earrings do basketball players wear?
Hoops.
***
What sport is played on a carpet?
Rug-by.
***
What sport is played in between two mountains?
Valley-ball.
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What kind of parties do shoes attend?
Foot-balls.
***
Why did the football player buy a lawn mower?
He had a lot of yards to go.
***
What did the coach yell when the telephone didn’t return his money?
“Hey! I want my quarter back!”
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What snack do ducks serve at Super Bowl parties?
Quackers and cheese.
***
Why didn’t the hen go bungee cord jumping with the turkeys?
She was chicken.
***
Why are couches good to bungee jump with?
They cushion your fall.
***
How did the ski instructor get to the top of the mountain?
He got a lift.
***
What chairs are popular at tennis matches?
Love seats.
***
What do golfers wear at tournaments?
Tee shirts.
***
How do you learn to play golf?
Take a golf course.
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What’s a golfer’s favorite lunch?
A club sandwich.
***
What happens when golfers gossip?
They can be very caddy.
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Why did the polo player get in trouble?
He was horsing around on the field.
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Why did the pool player take so long to make his shot?
He was waiting for his cue.
***
What’s so great about running marathons?
They jog your memory.
