Dad Jokes: School Days

Why didn’t the teacher call on the light bulb for answers?
Because it was a bit dim.

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How can you get your ballpoint pen to march?
Yell, “Left! Write! Left, write, left!”

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What’s best to write with?
It de-pens.

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What grade did the eyeball get in math this year?
C.

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What class do snakes teach at school?
Hiss-tory.

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What is the best tool in the classroom?
The scissors… they’re a cut above the rest.

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What’s your teacher’s favorite dessert?
Chalk-o-late cake.

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Where can toddlers plant flowers at school?
In the kinder-garden.

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How do omelets get into school?
They have to pass an egg-zam.

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Why are prisoners good at biology?
Because they know a lot about cells.

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When are teachers most annoying?
When they get test-y.

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When are teachers awesome?
When they have a lot of class.

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What happens when a cartoon character gets in trouble at school?
Suspended animation.

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Where do you go to study art?
Collage.

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What do future bankers love most in school?
Show ’n’ teller.

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Where in school are you most likely to catch a cold?
In the cough-ateria.

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What do trees use to take notes at school?
Loose leafs.

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What do baseball catchers get assigned a lot of?
Home work.

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Why did the brush get grounded?
Because she didn’t comb home by her curfew.

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Why did prehistoric people have such bad teeth?
Because they got a lot of cave-ities.