Born to Pun: Food and Drink

During the annual roundup rodeo, cattle ranchers bet heavily on their favorite bulls because they all have a steak in the winner.

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During the prohibition era, the mob branched into areas other than liquor, including high-end barbershops known as clip joints.

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Charlie loved working at the chocolate factory, especially because he was sweet on a coworker.

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When times are tough at the butter factory, dedicated workers will churn in their sleep.

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Is a peach cobbler someone who makes fine shoes out of fruit? Does he make slippers out of bananas?

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When the coffee magnate’s son left the family business to start his own company, he left with nothing more than a hill of beans.

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When the CEO of a coffee company retired, he was concerned he would become nothing but a has-bean.

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The orthopedic surgeon was so knowledgeable in his specialty, he easily managed the deboning of the Thanksgiving Turkey.

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The foreman at the pepper factory was a seasoned veteran of the business.

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The new apprentice to the master baker had a bit of a temper. His colleagues tagged him “Yeast” because it didn’t take much to get a rise out of him.

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The young butcher was hired to manage the meat department of the grocery chain and was willing to steak his reputation on doing well.

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The young man interviewed for the position of butcher and came out a cut above other applicants.

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The butcher was quick and efficient in his work and finished all special orders chop-chop.

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The butcher took great offense when a customer complained of inferior quality meats. He retorted, “That’s just baloney!”

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Here’s a question for you: Why are shrimp boats so large?

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After a full course Chinese dinner, your appetite just might dim sum.

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Count Dracula spent his whole life on a diet of fast foods and died sadly with a steak through his heart.

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During the Lenten season, there isn’t anything you’d call fast food.

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Cannibalism: The practice of serving your fellow man.

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Matzah: Traditional bread that doesn’t rise to the occasion.

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At a nudist potluck dinner, are all salads without dressing?

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You’ll find nothing but sour grapes in whine country.

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The chicken was feeling peckish when she ordered a burrito, so she asked for eggstra sauce.

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Indian foods are growing in popularity because seasonings are used to curry the favor of diners.

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Puns clearly are an acquired taste, so if you have something negative to say about, spit it out.

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The new Indian restaurant did well from its opening because the head chef knew that curry flavor would curry favor.

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Saw a sign next to the door of a Mexican restaurant that read: “Si you later.”

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The master Chinese chef was so good, he had the reputation of a wok star.

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The fancy Chinese restaurant was known for its excellent wok and roll.

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The new breakfast restaurant did so well, the cook staff had to scramble to keep up with the orders.

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When the young couple took over management of the successful surf-n-turf restaurant, they had a steak in its success.

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The employees of the new burger joint had a beef with the new owners and went on strike.

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When the newspaper food critic visited the seafood restaurant, the owners weren’t averse to fishing for a good review.

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Through hard work, the young Japanese couple was able to rice to the challenge of owning a sushi restaurant.

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Puns are an acquired taste, but some comedians are rather insensitive to their audiences and pepper their routines with them.

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It is an accepted tenet that puns are an acquired taste. Rarely do you find one to serve as food for thought.

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Brewing a great cup of coffee filters down to just a couple of key steps.

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The secret to brewing a great cup of tea is sometimes steeped in ancient family traditions.

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The wide variety of teas is enough to leaf you impressed and amazed.

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Laying eggs is something chickens eggscell at.

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Is it improper to serve beer and wine on the coffee table?

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The peanut butter sandwich complained to his lawyer that he was caught in a jam.

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The peanut butter sandwich got together with a friend for a jam session.

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With winter coming on, all the furry critters were furiously squirreling away a supply of nuts.

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The peanut butter sandwich was jammed up by someone he thought was a friend.

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To produce the best culture for cheese, you have to find the best whey to do it.

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The coffee magnate was angered that his bride contested the prenuptial, and considered it grounds for divorce.

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The chicken received the “Egg Layer of the Month” award for her eggspeditious use of time. Her secret? She paid close attention to the cuckoo-cluck.

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The seasoned baker was famous for his multi-grain breads but when he tried a new recipe, something went arye.

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The buzzard family reunion is held annually on the Fourth of July weekend and food is usually potluck. Someone always brings road kill.

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Puns are an art form that is an acquired taste. For some they aren’t the main course; they’re dessert.

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The wheat farmer’s son was left out of the will because he was caught sowing wild oats.

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The baker’s daughter surprised her parents when she announced she had a bun in the oven.

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The baker’s daughter was embarrassed when her boyfriend was caught kneading her dough.

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The other day I cut myself while dicing carrots. Mama warned me about being a cut-up.

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Small independent coffee shops have a tough time against the mega-corporate shops, but they add a homey flavor to their neighborhoods that the big ones can’t.

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When the western-themed restaurant decided to move into a larger space, it was easy enough to pick up steaks for the move.

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Q: How does a vampire lose weight?

A: He goes on a liquid diet.

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Q: How do vampires like their stakes?

A: Rare.

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Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite drink?

A: A Bloody Mary.

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Dining on pig’s knuckles wouldn’t be considered eating high on the hog.

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The butcher’s son graduated with honors from the Butcher Academy and opened his own shop, knowing full well the steaks were high whether he would succeed.

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The jolly butcher was not only an expert on the various cuts of all animals, he was well liked by his customers because it was easy for him to meat the public.

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One of the areas the butcher excelled in was healthy preparation of various cuts of meat where he would always lean in the right direction.

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The butcher had traveled extensively to many exotic places in the world and loved to share that slice of life with his customers.

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In an effort to promote his overall business, the master butcher set up a blog site advertising his special sausages and gave out links to all his customers.

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Local police arrested the unscrupulous butcher who attempted to sell “virtual sausages” as part of a weight-loss scheme.

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When it comes to humor, puns are an acquired taste that don’t appear on all menus.

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Puns are an acquired taste and for some, they are definitely hard to swallow.

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Here’s a puzzle for you: Why is it so easy to pig out on bacon?

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Is it still called pigging out if cows do it?

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While not the most popular of foods, beets, turnips, and rutabagas can form the roots of a healthy diet.

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Q: What do buzzards call road-kill?

A: Dinner.

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The new quota for egg production was so high, the chickens found it eggsasperating.

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Woodpeckers rely on luck when it comes to finding food—knock on wood.

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Beavers always have to watch their diet because they have that continuing gnawing feeling.

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The geometry teacher started a new pizza business based on the mathematical pizzapi.

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One evening, the jazz pianist brought a jar of peanut butter to a jam session.

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The semi-pro ball players from the bakery were in it for the fun, not for the dough.

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The mascot for the Little League team was the Idaho Carrot and it didn’t take anything to get parents to come out and root for the hometown team.

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Don’t be surprised the next time you walk into a Chinese restaurant to hear them playing Wok and Roll as background music.

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When vampires dine out at a stake house, they order their meals extra rare.

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When the old village butcher immigrated to the US and settled in New Jersey, the local detectives suspected he had links to the Mafia.

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In terms of one’s height, how tall is a short-order cook?

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The enterprising entrepreneur had an idea that didn’t work out well: A line of fast foods for the religious period of Lent.

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The owner of the little pepper factory always sends out season’s greetings for the holidays.

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Dishwasher: Husbands, when appliances break down.

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The seasoning company was celebrating its success because the economy was strong; it truly was the best of thymes.

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The seasoning company’s security guard was fired because he peppered his language with curse words and customers complained.

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The seasoning company’s new security guard was ex-navy and his language was pretty salty.

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The baker’s apprentice was on the job for only three weeks and had to be released because he was caught loafing on the job.

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Wine connoisseurs are always looking for a barrel of fun.

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Seems to me donut holes are a scientific marvel because they’re something made out of nothing.

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Unleavened bread is a batch that comes out of the oven after the untenned bread and before the untwelved bread.

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Pi: Dessert treats for meetings in mathematical circles.

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Can someone translate for me? Is a “latte grande” a tall order?